Changes Changes.

So much has happened in the past 2 weeks. Life just proves to me again and again that you really never know whats coming.

All my college prep is done. Books bought. Supplies bought. Now I'm just waiting for classes to start.
I'm still afraid that I will fail my math course, or have to stay behind and not advance. But you know what?
They have free tutoring for a damn reason. I plan to take FULL advantage of it.

I have scheduled my 5 hour with a friend. Step one toward the license, one step to go. This will happen. I will have a drivers license before December. My xmas present to myself.

I already got a pay raise at my new ft job. 2% but hey, I won't complain. I also got the after school kids club job. That pays 15$ an hour, so I'm not afraid anymore. I have great leads on weekend work, and maybe some pt stuff as well. I will be fine.

I have decided to hold off on my hunting license. I have other more pressing needs, but it will come eventually. The fact that I don't have a gun to use kinda puts a damper on it as well :P

What I am most afraid of right now?
New relationship.
I broke up with my previous boyfriend, it all went well, no hard feelings. Probably the best breakup I will ever have.
Now I move onto the new guy. He is fantastic, everything I really want. Miles better than the previous guy.
Yet I find myself afraid. Not of commitment, but that I don't know what is going to happen.
My biggest fear is failure. I cannot fail. If I do, I can't survive. Too much hangs in the balance. I always have to be on my A game.
Going into the unknown with a new bf, no plan, no knowledge of what is to come, that scares the SHIT outta me. What if I fail?
I want to be in a relationship, but god they scare me in the beginning. I will be fine if you talk to me in about a month. But right now? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH IM FUCKING SCARED OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!!

Talk to you in a week! :D